All Saints Bobble-Head Day, This Friday Afternoon at the Haikulodeon

Here’s this week’s heap of haikus:

haiku: Tomorrow we will
borrow burros and ride through
the City’s boroughs.

Spider Woman!  I’m
caught in your web of love and
it’s gettin’ sticky.

She wore gingham and
polka dot dresses, which made
her seem cartoon-ish.

—-

I am for you and
hope you are for me. Sit, let’s
break some bread and chat.


In the corner sat
a haunted piano, which
played only lost chords.

 A gypsy, cowgirl
and a hula dancer … Wait!
Mother, is that YOU?!

(A collage made by an artist friend of mine some years back, incorporating some pictures of my mom taken when she was young, dressed as a cowgirl and a gypsy.  My mom always tried to say they were actually photos of her mom … )

.

The weathered rowboat,
Lodged in the pond’s muddy dregs,
remains moored … oar-less.

“Habit” treads water,
“Take a risk” goes swimmingly,
“Indecision” drowns.

Ignore clever men
they can be out-witted. Keep
your eyes on mad-men.

tanka haiku: Sad after shopping,
young Teddy Roosevelt wished
that he chose a belt.

Despite fashion’s defenders
he had bought the suspenders.

Each day, there truly
IS an option. Ask yourself:
Why NOT happiness?

I find I am old …
it’s a bit of a surprise.
I thought I was ripe.
 
I have been so cold
I didn’t just shiver, I
would spit ice-cubes.
 
(for the more explicit version, replace the “p” in spit with an ‘h”…)
 Tanka haiku: 
Just one simple thing …
Don’t forget; feed the dog and…
walk him twice a day. 
 
    Wait, isn’t that three things? I’ll

    feed him. He can walk himself.
.


Her playing guitar
pants-less, will, no doubt, lead to
some sexy strumming.

The white-capped waves reached
out with watery fingers
to capsize the boat.


The tears of apples
come from being hurt right
to the very core.
(Photograph copyright Kristina Rebelo)

The angry sunset
seemed foreboding to all but
the old sea captain.
(Photograph copyright Kristina Rebelo)


What were they thinking?
I have stared at this photo
for years and wondered.

(These are ancestors of mine.  I’m not sure who they are, because my family has a tradition of not writing the names of people on the backs of old photos.)


Luscious red peppers
tumble from the store’s display
right into my cart.
(Photograph copyright Kristina Rebelo)


A crescent kite pulls
a water skier o’er an
autumn lake at dusk.

(Photograph copyright Kristina Rebelo)

Before a pinkish-
purple sky, an old tree asks
for it’s lover’s hand.

(Photograph copyright Kristina Rebelo)


Tower of London;
where you can find graffiti
from Anne Boleyn’s time before Banksy.

And finally …

This weekend in Spondyville, the little town that Time forgot, but Spondylitis remembered  …  Spondyville’s town handyman, “Pops” DeMaupassant, will once again and possibly for the very last time, climb the rickety ladder to the tower high atop the Spondyvile Town Hall and re-set the town clock, which marks the official end of Daylight Savings Time in Spondyville for another year.

As always, a small crowd will gather across the street in Ankylosinger Square to watch “Pops” perform his task at 2AM on Sunday morning. This loyal group of Spondyville residents will yell encouragement and remind “Pops” to “Fall Back!” (This vocal “reminder” was deemed necessary after the 2001 incident, when “Pops” mistakenly set the clock forward in the fall and back in the spring, thus confusing everyone for the entire year.)

Tragedy was averted last year, when “Pops” again set the clock forward one hour instead of back. The crowd yelled up to him, “Fall Back, Fall Back!!”, but “Pops”, who had come straight from an all-night “Simon Sez” session over at the Senior Center, had a flashback to earlier in the evening, and proceeded to ‘fall back’ … off of the ladder. Fortunately, he grabbed the hands of the clock as he fell, which re-set the clock to the proper time. He then had the good sense to hold on until the local EMS unit arrived to pry his hands off the clock and take him to the ER for “observation.” (Where the young ER doctor looked at him, rolled his eyes, threw up his hands and sent him home … But never mind that.)

Hopefully, this weekend, “Pops” will once again remember that the yelling of the crowd refers to what he is supposed to do with the clock and not what to do while on the ladder.

As per tradition, “Pops” will perform his task while uttering his now famous slogan, “An hour saved is a minute earned sixty times.”

In a concession to the reality that “Pops” just MIGHT be getting a little too old for this job, he has been training his future replacement, Todd Tripzen-Stumbles, a recent graduate of Spondyville High School for the non-performing arts, who will offer his assistance, if needed, and hold the ladder for “Pops”. Todd was originally scheduled to make his debut this year, but a torn meniscus he received in last week’s season ending ballgame for the Spondyville Fusers made him unable to climb. (FYI – Todd wasn’t playing, he was enthusiastically rooting when the accident occurred. )

For the “100 percenters” in the crowd, (Spondyvilleans who are totally fused), there are, of course, prism binoculars available, donated by the Marie Strumpell Charitable Foundation, which makes it easier to watch Pops’ antics atop the ladder. Coffee and crullers will be provided for all by the adjacent Spondy Cafe. Officer Floyd Crimp (aka ‘Flatfoot Floyd, the fused fuzz.’ aka ‘Officer Crimp, the cop with the limp.’), asks all residents of Spondyville to make sure they toss their uneaten donuts into the “Crullers for Coppers” barrel outside the post office, AND remember to set YOUR clocks back one hour on Saturday night.

P.S. Todd Tripzen-Stumbles is, of course, the great-grandson of Spondyville pioneer, Andrew Tripzen. As you know, Spondyville’s co-founders, Uriah Stoop and Elias Fuselot immortalized their pal, Andrew Tripzen, by naming the cascading waters outside of town, Andy Tripzen Falls.

Spondyville; Where all the women are stiff, the men are bent over and the children are on anti-inflammatories …

***

This entry was posted in The Haikulodeon. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s