A Mostly Ghostly Frightfully Scary Afternoon at the Haikulodeon

Here’s this week’s heap of haikus:

(Ding-Dong!)  Trick or Treat!!
“Who are YOU supposed to be?!”
(Candy dropped in bags.)

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Life is but a dream,
and in dying we awake
un-departed souls

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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Disneyland has changed
since the zombies were given
half-price admission.

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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Young girls and boys dance
in front of the mission on
the day of the dead.

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

===

Padre Hernandez
blesses convertibles with
zombies at the wheel.

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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Just because you’re dead,
doesn’t mean you can’t be chic.
This is Haunt Couture …

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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A swirling of skirts
arouses the senses and
makes old padres blush.

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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Welcoming our dear
departed with tributes in
the trunks of our old cars.

(Photos courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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The divide between
life and death now weakened, the
dead walk among us.

(Photo courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

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Creaky door opens …
two bony hands emerge and
grab her by the throat!!


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Carving pumpkins? Yuck.
Buying candy for ‘those brats’ …?
Who needs Halloween?

 


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Wet leaves line the street,
pedestrians wear jackets.
brisk autumn morning.


===

Will you please turn back?
Your clocks that is, this weekend.
We must save daylight!

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They spent All Souls Day,
still stuck in Purgatory.
Heaven help them … please.

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Bags full of candy,
(‘Goodies’ gleaned on Halloween),
Seldom last a week.


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Sibling rivalries
get bitter when it comes to
Halloween candy.

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In Grandma’s parlour,
quiet domesticity,
and a sleeping cat.

===

The flowers were left
leaning ‘gainst the headstone, for
no-one had a prayer.

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Youth asked, ‘What is Life?’
The old man paused … ‘Life’s how you
clean up afterwards.’


===

 

GPS lady:
“Approaching destination …”
Eh, what does she know?

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Mortally wounded,
he nevertheless tried to
remain positive.


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tanka haiku:

From the cab of his
pickup, he could see the smoke
rise from the chimney.

It was nearly sunrise and
he could not wait for coffee.


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Spider Woman!  I’m
caught in your web of love and
it’s gettin’ sticky.

===

She wore gingham and
polka dot dresses, which made
her seem cartoon-ish.

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In the corner sat
a haunted piano, which
played only lost chords.

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We’re Brimstone Bank, When
your assets have gone to Hell,
we have a branch there….


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Global crisis fixed;
coldly, methodically he
spliced the equator.

===


Their bodies entwined,
passionate kissing nearly
suffocated them.


===


Happy is the heart
that varies not in knowing
it’s a treat to beat.

===

Now they’re seen, now not …
Errant ships of sea and sky,
don’t know how to please …

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Two more from the series, “At Rest” ...

Dear old Aunt Esther
passed away on Christmas Day.
Her gifts unopened.

(Photo courtesy Tom Contrino)


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I imagine the
Revolutionary war
caused lots of issues.

(Photo courtesy Tom Contrino)

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Mind all aflutter,
She left her glasses at home
and her keys at work.  

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A brisk eve’ning breeze
swirled ’round my shoulders as I
waited for the bus.

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Mary, full of Grace,
had a wine stain on her dress
turned into water.

(Photo courtesy Tom Contrino)

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Sweeping through the sky
lost souls in search of heaven
as daylight retreats.

(Photos courtesy Kristina Rebelo)

*****

Reminder: This weekend in Spondyville, ‘the little town that Time forgot, but Spondylitis remembered’, Spondyville’s town handyman, “Pops” DeMaupassant, will once again climb the rickety ladder to the tower high atop the Spondyvile Town Hall and re-set the town clock, which marks the official end of Daylight Savings Time in Spondyville for another year.   You might remember that last year was supposed to be “Pops” final time re-setting the clock, but his young assistant, Todd Tripzen-Stumbles lived up to his name earlier this week and broke his ankle.  So “Pops” was asked to come out of retirement and do the time change as he has so many times in the past.

As always, a small crowd will gather across the street in Ankylosinger Square to watch “Pops” perform his task at 2AM on Sunday morning.   This loyal group of Spondyville residents will yell encouragement and remind “Pops” to “Fall Back!” (This vocal “reminder” was deemed necessary after the 2001 incident, when “Pops” mistakenly set the clock forward in the fall and back in the spring, thus confusing everyone in town for the entire year.)

You might also recall that tragedy was averted two years ago, when “Pops” again set the clock forward one hour in the Autumn instead of back.  The helpful crowd yelled up to him, “Fall Back, Fall Back!!”, but “Pops”, who had come straight from an all-night “Simon Sez” session over at the Senior Center, had a flashback to earlier in the evening, and proceeded to ‘fall back’ … off of the ladder … even though the crowd had not said “Simon Sez” … Fortunately, he grabbed the hands of the clock as he fell, which re-set the clock to the proper time.   He then had the good sense to hold on until the local EMS unit arrived to pry his hands off the clock and take him to the Emergency Room for “observation.” (Where the young ER doctor looked at him, rolled his eyes, threw up his hands and sent him home … But never mind that.)  Hopefully, this weekend, “Pops” will once again remember that the yelling of the crowd refers to what he is supposed to do with the clock and not what to do while standing on the ladder.   As per tradition, “Pops” will perform his task while uttering his
now famous slogan, “An hour saved is
a minute earned sixty times.”

Meanwhile, his erstwhile replacement, Todd Tripzen-Stumbles, a recent graduate of Spondyville High School for the non-performing arts, will offer his assistance, if needed, by holding the ladder for “Pops”.

For the “100 percenters” in the crowd, (Spondyvilleans who are totally fused), there are, of course, prism binoculars available, donated by the Marie Strumpell Charitable Foundation, which makes it easier to watch Pops’ antics atop the ladder.

Coffee and crullers will be provided for all by the adjacent Spondy Cafe.

Officer Floyd Crimp (aka ‘Flatfoot Floyd, the fused fuzz.’ aka ‘Officer Crimp, the cop with the limp.’), asks all residents of Spondyville to make sure they toss their uneaten donuts into the “Crullers for Coppers” barrel outside the post office, AND remember to set YOUR clocks back one hour on Saturday night.

P.S. Todd Tripzen-Stumbles is, of course, the great-grandson of Spondyville pioneer, Andrew Tripzen.   As you know, Spondyville’s co-founders, Uriah Stoop and Elias Fuselot immortalized their pal, Andrew Tripzen, by naming the cascading waters outside of town, Andy Tripzen Falls.

***

Happy Halloween!!

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